Pastor’s ponderings

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.

  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Prov 3:5-6, NRSV)

            How many times have you heard this proverb?  Often, in times of trouble or uncertainty, we quote these words to someone as a way of cheering them up, giving them some hope in a difficult situation, to say, “Don’t worry, The Lord’s got this.”  Right?  Well, this week I found I was quoting this passage to myself.  As I was struggling with how a particular situation might turn out, I recalled these words and told myself, “just trust in the Lord, acknowledge that what is about to transpire is God’s will, regardless of how it turns out, and know that whatever happens, it is all a part of God’s pathway for you.”  Yet, I’ll be honest, it certainly didn’t feel that easy.  In no way could it be that simple, I thought, because my future was at stake.  What about all of the plans I had made?  If this turned out another way, what was going to happen to them?  I felt anxiety growing within me to the point that I couldn’t concentrate on much of anything else.

            Yet, do you know what ended up happening?  A few hours went by and I received good news.  Everything was still proceeding according to plan.  It was then, in light of this revelation, that I found myself discerning – was this plan my plan or was it God’s? The pathway certainly seemed to be straightened, for I was now one step closer to achieving the goal I had set.  And, knowing that I certainly was not who had gotten it to that point, was what was now taking place actually God’s doing?  Did God make it happen, even though my trust had waivered?

            Now, let’s be clear – I trust God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.  So, what was it then that was holding me back as these events unfolded?  What was the source of my anxiety? What was it that made me question what the end result would be?  Well, I can now only conclude that I didn’t trust myself.  I didn’t put faith in what God had equipped me to do as a minister of the gospel, as an ambassador for Christ.  It wasn’t God that I was questioning, it was me.

            We’ve all done it haven’t we?  We’ve all hesitated, wondered, and waited for something to reveal itself as a sign that we are headed down the right track, that the pathway is on the straight and narrow.  Sure, sometimes we get that confirmation, but what about the times that we don’t?  Do we still trust the Lord in those moments as well?  Trust is a key component of our faith.  So, I invite you to ponder today, where, and in whom, do you place your trust?

                                                                        Pastor Steve

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